Beachside dummies

What was all that fuss about smashing pumpkins and blind melon?
You could get a pink pulpy papaya oozing its dubious fragrance and nutrients all across your now baby soft freckled skin rudely red with suntan copiously rubbed on ripe raw breasts by stiff strong fingers and a rough palm you readily chose- reaching for a miracle.

The sea looks beautiful today. Silvery smooth- a colour with no name under a blue blue sky drenched by an insistent yellow sun that casually bejewels it and burns the hapless sand chafing under you flaming feet as you you roar gently, sharp teeth gritted even as those thin thieving lips flash a beer soaked smile which may have been a grimace if not for the bikiniless bod nestled under an inviting orange umbrella just ahead...

Just spotted Daniel Craig hiding with a clandestine coconut cocktail (knew he hated martinis) under a rustic palm dried thatch, coy black striped towel hanging loose over a splash of crimson- (time he got his colours done- a pale peach perhaps to set off the wild weathered muscle) and a couple of covert tattoos thrown in- oh well...time for a dark rum and chilly beef then,need enough fire on my tongue to numb it black - before I use it again.

Jeremy Brett could have lost his nerve here- so many sundried carcasses burning in blissfully abandoned isolation- and your speckled back. Oh yes. Infamously scarred. I'll pass up the fangs, thank you.

Crushed ice in fake crystal, candid canopies calling for candied cunts, catch of the day in a cool coffer of cannabis, crab legs cushioned on a crackling grill, cloying canteloupe, cold cream on cracked contours, casting coy glances at cleavage and curves and clever cameras (clicking clouds?)
All the comfortable cliches you came here to find.

Blonde, black, brown ,beige, baffled, bemused, blistered, beautiful people- chasing a day with no thought, no chores, no ego- waiting for a glimpse of nirvana on an imagined shore busier than their lamplit study where scant hope floats.
Purple shades and a picture packed glossy-

these old thighs are meant for lazing
these old eyes are meant for gazing
all these highs are just for glazing
that
death by dire chocolate

I Me Mine

Happy new year!

Fading

a cold long wait
or a warm inviting one
lilting along a luminous lullaby
loving every little linger
along the lonely winding winterway

for all you who sleep tonight
for all you who weep tonight
for all you who creep into
furrowed familiar facades
of formidable futures
fashioned by soft sweet fingers
feeling for fantasies
fallen by the wayside

am I freaking you out?

Hannibal just offered me a slice of pie
requiem for a redolent lie

I'm just here to die
smile sweetheart and ask me why
as the smoke muses merrily up
to a rough brown sky
arms wide open
lips sealed
to a lost pipe
you claimed was all yours

as I grimace at the rotting tobacco
rife with the smell of last night
lost night
lost fight
last bite

and you just might
but not quite

find a piece of me
on your windscreen
glimpse a touch of me
through your smokecreen
taste a bit of me
on your coffee cup
waste a lot of me
as you fuck up.

Here

When you know and you don't

We always knew
It would come to this
THIS
like a brand new end
to a fairytale
that never was

and with every new slash
and every bit of sticky
viscous red
you wish it was just a new day
with no yesterdays
that scream on forever and ever

cling on like the rotten stench
of puke
you promised you'd clean up
and leave but a whiff of
fresh paint
intoxicating
dark untrodden corridoors

and a sketchbook
white as snow
untouched
untroubled
unblemished

untrue

only for you

like the goldfish
lying strangled
without reason
without fear
always near

and shining
dead

carefully carelessly
DEAD

dead or alive

why are we here?

for me or for them?

why do we laugh?

because we remember or forget?

why do we hurt?

because we want to smile again?

why do we rage?

because we need them?

why are we dead?

because we did none of the above

--------------------


carnival night

I'm here

and not there

not quite anyway

not white

not black

no spite

just quiet

with a beer

and no bite

people milling

tautly willing

thronging

cobbled streets

dubious feet

downing wheat

smiling sweet

crunching meat

forgetting

sweating

abetting

a new world

gently curled

unfurled

around the edges

of her new summer dress

pink with pain

no room for a brain

swaying

again and again

trying in vain

to get home

to what never was

hoegarden on the house

any takers?

Damn

The sky was darkening
in a way she loved
the sun was dead
high up above

her eyes were barely open
hard work
on a pointless afternoon

resurfacing quirks

need to be shelved

and of course I can't write anymore

because when it happens
it's more than it ever was
or will be

timeout

I need to frown
and say

I do.

------------------

Damnation


Get back in there
stay put
sweet murder is afoot

don't make a sound
don't move
stay numb
right in your groove

they will not let you cry
just slowly watch you fry
they will not let you try
yet they will not let you die

toss the syringe
fetch the quack
blind him
till he can't look back



Happy Birthday John

Coldwater Morning

He stared and stared. Squinting at a dazed new day. He wasn't quite sure where he was. The air smelt good. Like freshly churned butter.

His breath was regular, unfettered. His skin tingled with a sense of wonder. Had it been sleeping this long? What was he missing? The throbbing nerves in his temples? Why were they suddenly so still, like butterflies long flown -
and you wondered, had they ever really been there?

He recognised the strains of a fugue playing in his head- how long since his fingers were alive and making music? Seemed easy enough then, and again... today. Yes he would. After a hearty eggs and bacon fill. Curl up on the window ledge with the Sunday Philosophy Club that had been lying invitingly untouched for months. It seemed like the right time. He may even fish out his old sketchbook and a bunch of crayons and laugh at his scribbled attempts at turning his heart inside out.

Laugh? Wow!

Just the thought made him shake his head in sheer amazement. He smiled self consciously at the imaginary bird on the steadfast tree outside and ambled over to the front door to pick up the newspaper.It wasn't there. Pity. Just when he'd actually looked forward to reading it rather than moon through BBC world while switching channels in half baked hysteria on the much maddening tv set.

Yes he would enjoy the quiet for a bit. The deadening dullness of daily dark thoughts seemed to have gone into hiding, and his mind felt empty and crisp. Waiting for lush new fodder - but not quite hungry yet.

Had someone worked a spell on him? It wasn't the pills. That felt different. His steps were slow and steady. Fetching tea and sipping it gently from a steaming blue cup, he realised he hadn't even bothered to log on to email, as was the inevitably obsessive ritual everyday when his eyes opened, over that first cigarette.

The tea actually tasted better without the smoke. Or perhaps it was just the change and his unclogged nostrils. He leaned back on the couch sniffing the air to detect a difference, glanced at the doorknob which he seemed to notice for the first time - stretched lazily and tapped and rubbed the soles of his feet on the cool cracked leather- puzzled and pleased. What was that old joke about the dog and the bone? Whoever said the dog couldn't be happy without? He would write a better one. A whole book perhaps. Or maybe a song?

This was getting more and more intrigueing. He would make this a day to remember. Hold on to it while it lasts and make it special. Wear his favourite purple lambswool jumper-pretend it was his favourite time of year, put up a few postcards and pop some rich dark ale and listen to a game on radio. No TV today. He grinned excitedly at the thought again.

It was time.

He looked out across the horizon. There was not a speck of darkness. Nor light. No.

But yes, it was morning


Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesnt really matter to me,
To me

(Freddie Mercury- A Bohemian Rhapsody)

Tough choices

when your life's a fairytale
when your heart's on email
when your mind's asail
on the boat to nowhere

savour the punch
flavour the lunch
roll a fresh fag
bleed the last drag

catch me a lemon
crack me the weed
gift me your best
kick me the seed

when was it morning
when was it night
when is the right time
to pick a good fight?

float me a fable
a la clark gable
wish me a moonflake
I'd never forsake

fireworks tonight
head feels the bite
tongue drips the spite
eyes fade the light

--------------------------

Stay (Wright, Waters)

Stay and help me to end the day.
And if you don't mind,
We'll break a bottle of wine.
Stick around and maybe we'll put one down,
Because I wanna find what lies behind those eyes.
Midnight blue burning gold.
A yellow moon is growing cold.

I rise, looking through my morning eyes,
Surprised to find you by my side.
Rack my brain to try to remember your name
To find the words to tell you good-bye.
Morning dues.
Newborn day.
Midnight blue turned to gray.
Midnight blue burning gold.
A yellow moon is growing cold.

(from 'Obscured by clouds')

Break(in)

"Why do I keep beating myself with a hammer?

To feel real?

Because it feels so good when I stop. "
(Grey's anatomy)

No

It doesn't.

That's when the soreness really kicks in.
The futility of it all?

Yes

So I just find another hammer.

For variety
For thrills
for chills.

Why?

Because I can.

And you can't.
And you shan't.

Stop.

Is just another word
I haven't heard.

Cry

Is a non option
Rivers run dry.

Try?

Perhaps one day
When I can truly say

I broke the hammer
Just to stay alive.

Squeal if you care, keel if you dare

It's rainin men
hallelujah

they paved paradise
to put up a parking lot

Cos I've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one's givin a high five

(Ginger, Joni, Alannis)
-----------------------------------------

sweet child o mine
did you know
that the only bliss
I ever foresaw
was that one nanocigarette
sitting liberated
on the sidewalk
by the grocer's den
as a million passers by
drift by in sheer disdain
or predictable indifference

and you know
more than ever before
that the sky is yours
for the taking

and all those cars
you were afraid to drive
and every cockroach
that got in the way
were merely passers by
filtered by a haze of smoke
all yours
only yours
forever and ever
amen???

crack open the secret chest
of hidden treasure
and find
bottles
of chinese wine
nurtured
on aeons of esoteria
I've lost the key to
finally

one a penny
two a penny
hot cross buns
have you seen the elephant

'course you have
and you thought
it was a vascillating volvo
veering veritably
voracious-ly
via vicious venn diagrams
vending viagra
villifying
voraciously
the vivisection

of yet another
vintage
veiled
vaporous
vosciferous
vignette

of the veracious vamp
vacuously
voluptuous

vowing vengeance

where werewolves wished
they withered
with the wind

wings of the dove
puissilant paraphernalia

spelling errors
are here to be

let's play tag
and if you can get me

all said and done
I'll shoot you down
in my pink sequinned gown
with my very own
kitsch upholstered gun,

lol!

scared yet?

bemused?

refused?

used?

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOURS WIFE

Moses was a dude
with a fancy hood

Give me glucose
'stead o' manna
give me rainforest
in place of savannah

and I swear
to every fake God
that ever lived
this world
will go under
right down under
no matter what
no matter who

with or without you

I can't live

with or without you

Goddamned Oscillating Dog
greying gills
gushing Givenchy
go get gummy bears
It's all your good for

As you wait warily
for them to write you off
like they did Pluto.


Who the fuck is Alice??

Whither?

turning back I said...

the clock?

the race?

my face?

turning back to look again
for who knows what
might strike again

rewind
glance behind
the light you find
could leave you blind.

even as the setting sun
bids you fast
to make the run

you tarry once
you tarry twice
you hurry back
for one more slice

green apple madness
apricot sadness
dry ice gladness
the sky is a mess.

who needs a sunset
when sunrise is nigh
I've got my shadow
to hug and get high

just want a likeness
to breakfast in brightness
bask in the tightness
of true crafted lies.

for thine is the kingdom
no matter how fake
and mine is to perfect
the icing on cake

and ere it is darkness
the feast shall be done
no turning back
the race has been run

and what of those eyes
that still search the dark
for footprints that vanished
and yet left their mark

embrace the timepiece
unlock the day
undress the shower
embellish the fray

Wake up-

It's just another day.

Turning back

All right tonight

tonight

I cannot think of angels...
No nor witches either

I cannot fan the flames that lie dying yet again


tonight

I will not seek redemption
No nor solace even

I cannot bridge the distance that grows longer everyday


tonight

I'll dream of echoes
those words that had been writ

of every wasted whisper
now muted bit by bit

whoever thought they'd live on
whoever thought they'd shine
made every magic moment
yet another glass of wine


and tonight

will be the damning
of another nasty mile
erasing every tremor
with calmly practised guile

--------------------------------------

tonight

there'll be no shadows
no lurking frightened eyes
no coat to give you cover
no food for telltale highs

the bed of thorns is breaking
the dark lord strikes again
the steel inside is cracking
and silence gnaws the pain

Tired fingers aching mind
No glory left to see
All alone on stormy seas
Fighting still to be


So close your eyes and listen
Lay your head on me awhile
Let the fever flow out gently
As I will your heart to smile

So won't you let go for a bit
and rest your faith in me

and let me fetch you just this once
a steaming cup of tea?

woher

weary

were we

where ye

where are we


we woo

werewolf

we are wolves


no

nowhere

nowhere man


werewoman

wore man

war won

one whore


whole or

one hole


home

woman

womb

tomb


who killed my story?

Untrue

I'll sit on this tall green hill
and wait for you
I'll stare into the sun
and you'll have no clue

I'll sit on this big brown rock
and look for you
and let the ice and sleet
freeze me blue

I'll stand on the purple water's edge
and search for you
and the ducks will laugh
as they always do

I'll lie on a dusky desert dune
and wish for you
and the sands will swell
and bury us two.

I'D LIKE TO BE UNDER THE SEA,
IN AN OCTOPUS'S GARDEN IN THE SHADE.

WE WOULD BE WARM, BELOW THE STORM,
IN OUR LITTLE HIDEAWAY BENEATH THE WAVES.
RESTING OUR HEAD ON THE SEA BED,
IN AN OCTOPUS'S GARDEN NEAR A CAVE.

WE WOULD SING AND DANCE AROUND
BECAUSE WE KNOW WE CAN'T BE FOUND.

WE WOULD SHOUT AND SWIM ABOUT
THE CORAL THAT LIES BENEATH THE WAVES.
(Lies beneath the ocean waves)
OH, WHAT JOY (ah) FOR EV'RY GIRL AND BOY
KNOWING WE'RE HAPPY AND THEY'RE SAFE.
(Happy and they're safe)

WE WOULD BE SO HAPPY YOU AND ME;
NO ONE THERE TO TELL US WHAT TO DO.

I'D LIKE TO BE UNDER THE SEA,
IN AN OCTOPUS'S GARDEN WITH YOU

(Ringo Starr)

Yes

How did you know?

That you could just speak softly, and it would
slice my mind into shreds that cannot see each other;
and the bits would float here and there and
collide in confusion even as they remain
warmly cocooned in that soft silk handkerchief
that your words weave so gently.

And everything you say is just
the whipped cream on a warm rich coffee cup
which lies on your desk four thousand miles away.

So how is it that I wake up with the dark heady fragrance
that lies beneath and threatens the core that rules?

The knotted knuckles, the open palm, the fiercely tender grip
of waiting arms and the raging head
inclined just enough to rest lightly on mine as I
press my cheek to yours... craving its strange dark sweetness.

You didn't say what I thought you would.
You didn't do what I thought you might.
You just stayed awake and kept me afloat all through the stormy ride.
Chased me when I hid, teased me when I froze,
laughed when I ranted and cried with me in silent confusion

And oh we played, like no two people ever had.
Like no two people ever will.

Cut

Retake

You didn't know
That I could be who you
wanted me to

and that with every tender word I cut a piece of you
and preserve it till the salt and vinegar
sting you into cosy shades of purple
and you look in the mirror and smile
at the stranger you live with now
pink with pleasure cradled
in casual clever crimson

As you soak deeper into the jar of honey
with invisible inches of the inflammable
pasts we'd both forgotten

and the futures that we willingly burn
for one smoke filled night.

Fission

The sun forgot to set today.

It hadn't set an alarm. The blackberry packed up.

It continued on auto pilot without a thought
for the moon

that kept waiting, waiting.

----


Lightning struck

Ashes of roses
all over cream satin

Thunder stood by
the rain held its own

Clouds applauded
As the stars undressed her

----

Edgy icicles
Shattered snow

Rosewood hours
Stark and slow

Fire and water
Friend and foe

Your time is up
with miles to go

------


The chocolate woods
Didn't blink

Soot ablaze
Castrated cold

He clothed himself
bit by bit
with dying embers

of the phantom storm


A rusty road raced by

Pale pink
Placid pucker

An army of ants
A lone gray sky

watched


them break.

Carpe Diem

Apple green tea. Not green apple tea.
The difference is more than subtle.
Like the morning before and the morning after.

A cigarette lit and one unlit.
Promise of another day or just today?

Pencils sharpened for a math exam
Pencils blunted to sketch the shadows in her eyes

A jug of cream or a dash of caviar
Leg of lamb or touch of terrine

A shot of Remy Martin Louis XIII
A pitcher of Heineken

Racing head, hollow heart
Empty safe
Brand new start

-----------------------------------

He was old
He was smart
She was bold
Yet just a tart

He was a bore
She wanted more
She's the whore
He proudly wore

They kissed all night
No love no fight
She milked him dry
He loved to cry

-----------------------------------

The clouds are turnin' crimson
The leaves fall from the limbs an'
The branches cast their shadows over stone
Won't you meet me out in the moonlight alone?

The boulevards of cypress trees
The masquerades of birds and bees
The petals, pink and white, the wind has blown
Won't you meet me out in the moonlight alone?

My pulse is runnin' through my palm
The sharp hills are rising from
The yellow fields with twisted oaks that groan
Won't you meet me out in the moonlight alone?

(Bob Dylan- Moonlight)

In the Flesh

Stench of burning flesh
Bloody innards
Slashed inside out

Delicate lacerations
Carefully executed
Controlled frenzy

living art
On display for a few hours only

Skip dinner
Feast your eyes
And mind

While it still breathes
Through fevered eyes
And a choked gullet
Croaking silently
for release

Oblivion won't come easy
You're on camera honey
Every ounce
of well earned pain
Gifted with razor sharp
tenderness...


And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
I want you to know who I am

(Iris- the Goo Goo dolls)