Friday, February 16

Airport angst




Yet another one. Steel bars. Grey blue glass. Long walk to a grey blue sky.
What next?
Have I been here before?
Does that child scream in vain or because he recognised a face in the crowd or a ghost with a snowman grin?
"I'm here to swallow you up- are you ready for the magic?"

Floating through a numb haze of cataclysmic contours- people I believe- waiting, watching, worrying, wincing.
Peeping, leaping, weeping. No surfeit of tears here, or hugs.
Watching from my corner, the world playing itself out in a few square feet of fettered space- that could wrench you away from today- or coerce you back to where you belong?

Vacant eyes searching for no one, soothed by another's skirmish, amused at how simple it all can be. Right here. Everyday.
As lives change, bonds break with uniform montony under the steel beams shining on steadfastly. I would wait here forever and not go out. One iced caramel macchiatto and the memory of others.

Smoke in the cool air, black jacket hug, tired hair, shy eyes only half looking for more than a christmas tree.It's all purple today, like my cosy scarf and blueberry smoothie and my favourite hills at 4am and the picture of your veins by candlelight.

That's why we're here. For the colour. As it changes. As it dies. As it lived.

And when we yearn for it to be born again- it's of a different hue- and yet-
we recognise it and rejoice- though we can't call it our own-
like the snowman that melted- and the child who cried when it was gone.

16 comments:

Echo said...

The colour of the eyes, the brain, the beating of the heart mixed into the hills and the sun is just a pale reflection of that truth, just hiding behind you.

I love the black jacket hug.

Cocaine Jesus said...

sublime.
this bit especially...
"Smoke in the cool air, black jacket hug, tired hair, shy eyes only half looking for more than a christmas tree.It's all purple today, like my cosy scarf and blueberry smoothie and my favourite hills at 4am and the picture of your veins by candlelight."
sublime.

Woman?? said...

Inkblot:

"
That's why we're here. For the colour.
"

What a lovely line.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't colour-blind. It has cost me much.

Ricercar said...

i love airports, usually
make me feel at home. gypsy feet.
but in my present mood, this post just made me sadder ...

replied to your comment on my blog. madcap mayhem is over. it was, maybe a sign. interview done. failed it. back to churning out software. no more chasing elusive madcap.

ShadowLor said...

sometimes we watch to see.
sometimes we watch to listen.
sometimes we watch to learn.
sometimes...we watch to suffer:
when the people pass by in a flash of colour, drinking in their smiles, hiding their demons.

brilliant. i love "That's why we're here. For the colour. As it changes. As it dies. As it lived."

ryn: i can't say i think the new world is going to be brave. dark, yes, but not brave.

mermaid said...

'That's why we're here. For the colour. As it changes. As it dies. As it lived.'

'like the snowman that melted- and the child who cried when it was gone'

Living and dying and living again. Your piece is one of my favorite expressions of this. Your peace, your art coloring the gloom.

Φ said...

hey y u confused inky how have u been. sory am nt bloggin r chkng blogs cos i lost my blog while migrating 2 gmail thing..screwed up..most of my best wrks lost..recovering via cache pages. hmmm nyways nt end of the world.. catch me on IM ..news for u..

Inkblot said...

echo: there is no truth?
...and as for the BJH- yeah, I do too :)


cj: I kinda like that s word. thank you


woman??: most men are :P

Inkblot said...

P: cheer up honey. what would we do without madcap times...


mermaid: insightful and compassionate as ever. glad your here

VP: shame about the blog.catch me when you can. can't wait for the news!!!

Inkblot said...

shadowlor:yes, I watch, they watch...for all those reasons trying to find what we're really made of and is that brave or just foolish?

its going to be dark till we can't see, hear, feel or think anymore. no hope you say- it's starting to look like that-

aria said...

you describe the finer nuances in unique way with colours ..

"It's all purple today, like my cosy scarf and blueberry smoothie ...."

Too many beautiful lines there .. if I start qouating .. I'll quote the entire blog.

Prmod Bafna said...

Beautiful! And there's this thing about your words that make me float in them first and then i come back to get wowed all over again!! So nice to be reading your stuff again! :)

aparna said...

Gong Xi Fat Cai!

And i love airports... for different reasons. :)

shikha said...

you remind me of mistress of spices...each colous has a meaning..beautiful, inky!!!

procheta said...

"or a ghost with a snowman grin"...and "like the snowman that melted..."...and all of it.beautiful...

posted after a long time-thanks...yes,u made me think abt tht "up"... u know a friend was tellin me tht mayb i should get rid off the "it is".. perhaps i never really was too candid n left it for the reader to figure out wht it is tht i was talkin abt, kind of opening up yet keepin it a secret...i was really talkin abt addiction.

Inkblot said...

aria: I really do love colour...thanks


aparna: tell me more :P


pb: floating is fun...and thanks


shikha: I enjoyed MOS- spices can be so special!


procheta: thank you for the comment and explanation. I really enjoy your writing