babies

floating in the air
dancing in my mind
swimming inside somewhere
waiting to be made

a clever ruse
a passionate ploy
a hopeful accident
or perhaps
real real......

gone.



our minds pressed and guarded
while our flesh disregarded
the lack of space for the light-hearted
in the boom that beats our drum

and i know i make you cry
i know sometimes you wanna die
but do you really feel alive without me?
if so be free
if not leave him for me
before one of us has
accidental babies
for we are ...

(Damien rice - accidental babies from 9)

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The Lovers card affirms my alter ego is a port key to a Soul Mate or deal, whose superpower is compatibility in the midst of reconciling dichotomy to interconnect as a whole new entity or 'color.' To be or not to be: at ultimatum or rival tensions mounting, negotiating acceptable trade-offs validates our unique perspectives to reflect what each lacks for a balanced voice of truce. When we're together I'm beside myself, so I concede mutual vested interest, incentive or opportunity to my other half for valued consideration. For only by the power of self-respect in reciprocal vulnerability, need and compassion do 'me and thee consummate we.' The rest is all a dance on the sidelines of Cinderella Pandering or prohibition, or around a Bermuda Triangle of bottom line temptation to cheat by provocation, promiscuity, or shame. But here at the gate of impasse, I still have a choice and my pride..

(My daily tarot or is it carrot??)

Airport angst

Yet another one. Steel bars. Grey blue glass. Long walk to a grey blue sky.
What next?
Have I been here before?
Does that child scream in vain or because he recognised a face in the crowd or a ghost with a snowman grin?
"I'm here to swallow you up- are you ready for the magic?"

Floating through a numb haze of cataclysmic contours- people I believe- waiting, watching, worrying, wincing.
Peeping, leaping, weeping. No surfeit of tears here, or hugs.
Watching from my corner, the world playing itself out in a few square feet of fettered space- that could wrench you away from today- or coerce you back to where you belong?

Vacant eyes searching for no one, soothed by another's skirmish, amused at how simple it all can be. Right here. Everyday.
As lives change, bonds break with uniform montony under the steel beams shining on steadfastly. I would wait here forever and not go out. One iced caramel macchiatto and the memory of others.

Smoke in the cool air, black jacket hug, tired hair, shy eyes only half looking for more than a christmas tree.It's all purple today, like my cosy scarf and blueberry smoothie and my favourite hills at 4am and the picture of your veins by candlelight.

That's why we're here. For the colour. As it changes. As it dies. As it lived.

And when we yearn for it to be born again- it's of a different hue- and yet-
we recognise it and rejoice- though we can't call it our own-
like the snowman that melted- and the child who cried when it was gone.