Hard cold sleet
Rough wrinkled feet
Endless barren sand
Blistered ugly hand.
Stale blackened toast
Tough leftover roast
No one on my side
No safe place to hide.
Dark dingy house
Cheerful cheating spouse
Cacophonic kids
Losing market bids.
Noisy neighbours knocking
Hard drive crashing
Milk boiling over
Nine hour layover.
Boss hates your guts
Career in a rut
Friends far away
Hair turning grey.
Tangled tacky life
Rusty carving knife
Dig it in deep
Long dreamless sleep.
I'm lying.
Thats your nightmare, not mine.
You'll have to pay me a fortune to tell you mine
And perhaps one sunny day
It'll all be fine.
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9 comments:
nice one Oracle.
Just as I was thinking "Welcome to life, dude" came your twist at the end :-)
"Career in a rut
Friends far away
Hair turning grey."
Very much like my own nightmares ..
You write with sucha steady sure hand - accumulating details so casually .. fascinating as ever ..
Interesting. And somehow, I wasn't as impressed as I usually am. Some element struck me as missing. Though am not sure what it is. Something that I like in the way you write misses here. But, nevertheless, its good. You've set higher levels though. Its just my opinion.
i dunno but this just made me smile
maybe it is mine .. but i'm yet to discover it
:)
Φ :don't tell anyone
Ghostoftomjoad: who says I haven't been there?
Aria:'steady,sure..'?-first time someone said THAT to me!thanks
I: I just let it flow but will try harder next time :)
and if you figure out whats missing , let me know!
Sangeeta:perhaps its not and you never will. Keep smiling.
Hmm. Maybe because it had too many branches in all directions. Branches that lacked in depth. That made you want to skim through them once you came over to the middle portion. Maybe, that's the reason. Usually, your lines make me want to sit up and take notice. In this, it didn't. Looked too disintegrated.
Am not sure if you got my last comment. I got some error.
"Hmm maybe because it split into too many branches. Branches that I thought lacked detail. Branches that made you want to just skim through them. It happened around the 30-75% part of it. Usually, your lines aren't that way. They make me want to sit up and take notice of them. Think about them. This time, I thought it sounded too disintegrated. Too aloof.
I was making a comment on someone else's blog earlier. The more honest and real the work is, the more I like it.
Inks, you're work is the perfect imperfect example.
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